Choices, Oh the Many Choices!

Man, oh man.... just imagine you are sitting at a counter in a bakery. Infront of you lies thousands and thousands of different types of cookies. How do you know which one to get? You can't really choose can you? It is so hard to make the decision. You are hungry but you can only pick one cookie. Just one. Which one do you take?

My Bloody Valentine

He dropped you off, I followed him home.
Then I, stood outside his bedroom window.
Standing over him, he begged me not to do,
What I know I had to do,
Because I'm so In Love With You!

Oh my love please don't cry,
I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life.

March 20th- 11:34 PM
"Veronica, I love you. I always have. He wasn't worth your time, he wasn't worth you." I spoke such confidence, how could she not love me? "He was going to take you away, away from me. I wasn't going to let him. You and me, that is all I care about. We can run, we can start a new life. We can do it. We can live! Together!"

Only a few hours earlier, Joel had found Veronica with Mike. He was devastated.

March 20th- 9:23 PM
What was she doing with him? I love you Veronica! Why are you with him? These thoughts constantly plagued me as I watched them from my car. They were walking down the beach.

March5- 8:30 AM
Only a few weeks before that Veronica had taken out a restraining order on Joel. He had followed her for weeks, and the final straw was when he was caught sneaking into her room late at night. When the police where called he was found with several of her possessions in his pockets. Including an old diary, a lock of her hair, and some articles of her clothing.

March 20th - 9:40 PM
Where were they going? I need to do something. I love her. She loves me. Joel reached into his pocket and grabbed a picture he had taken of Veronica. He looked at it as a dog looks towards his loving master. I'm going to do something. Just as he finished putting his picture back in his pocket he looked up to see Mike kiss Veronica. This filled him with rage. At that moment he stepped out of the door and slammed it behind him. He began running towards the two. "Veronica! Don't let him do that! He is only trying to use you!" Then turning his attention towards Mike, "Get your freaking hands off of her!" Joel came in swinging. He took the first shot while still running. He aimed just above Mike's jawbone. Mike easily ducked out of the way and planted a very strong blow to Joel's cheek bone. Veronica heard a crunch and Mike's fist landed. Joel had fallen to the ground. Easily defeated. "Mike lets get out of here. Take me home, I can't stand this."

March 20th- 10:13 PM
After a long car ride Mike pulled his car into Veronica's driveway. Along the way she had told Mike about everything, the restraining order, everything. He was worried for his girlfriend. "If anything happens or you see anything, or are just scared, call me. Anytime. Anywhere. I'll find you." "G'night Mike" Veronica smiled. Somewhat still distracted by tonight's events she walked into her house.

March 20th 10:24 PM
Veronica turned on the T.V. to distract her. She walked into the kitchen and began to make a sandwich. Should I call the police about tonight? After all Joel did break the restraining order. Maybe I should. As she sat and pondered this Mike was driving home.

March 20th 10:24 PM
Mike backed out of the drive way and was driving down the street. His house was only a block or two away. Only a few minutes. He was a bit shaken from tonight's events. His adrenaline was still pumping. I'm going to kill that creep. If he so much as lays a hand on Veronica, he'll be dead.

March 20th 10:40 PM
Mike had made it all the way home and now was enjoying some chips before going to bed. There was quite a storm blowing in. The wind was picking up and it started to heavily rain. Once his snack was done he headed for bed. As he layed down he heard something out the window. It is just the storm he said.

March 20th 10:40 PM
Veronica decided she was going to call the police in the morning. There wasn't much they could do at this late hour. So she headed for bed.

March 20th 11:02 PM
Joel found the bedroom window unlocked. He very stealthily opened it without a sound and entered the room. He very quietly closed the window behind him. He stood over a bed with a hunting knife in his hand. He started to cough and tried to stop himself but it was too late, he had been heard. Mike opened his eyes wide. Then in that moment a million feelings were expressed through them. With one feeling reigning supreme over the others. Fear. As Mike tried to jump up, Joel slammed the knife hard, as hard as he could, down into Mike's neck. A little cry escaped from Mike's mouth before falling back down onto his bed. This wasn't enough for Joel. He then pulled the knife back out of the neck and continued to stab it into Mike and twisting and ripping. He didn't just kill Mike. He maimed him. Joel saw a light go on in the hallway. He quickly escaped through the window he had come through. As he was running from the property he heard a scream of a mother, and the weeping of a father.

March 20th 11:15
The police quickly arrived at the murder scene. They began to question the parents. "He was with Veronica, his girlfriend, all night." They quickly called her.
"Hello, Veronica?"
"Yes, who is this?" her voice was tired and it sounded as if she had just woken up.
"I'm afraid I have terrible news. Mike has been murdered. Is there anyone you know who would've done this?"
The officer didn't receive a response. All he heard was a desperate crying. This was all he was going to hear.

March 20th 11:17
"Veronica?" This time the voice did not come from the phone. She was scared stiff. She dropped the phone and turned to see Joel. His shirt was bloody, he was still clenching a knife. She began to scream. Joel quickly covered her mouth. "I love you..." She bit into his hand. In sudden terror Joel drew back. Veronica took this chance and bolted for the door. She made it out and was worried about her family. She turned around and saw Joel chasing her. She turned and ran. She had made it three blocks before slowing down. Then she dared to look. No one was there.

March 20th- 11:34 PM
Her cell phone rang. It was her home phone number.
"Mom?" her voice was quivering
"Veronica, I love you. I always have. He wasn't worth your time, he wasn't worth you." I spoke such confidence, how could she not love me? "He was going to take you away, away from me. I wasn't going to let him. You and me, that is all I care about. We can run, we can start a new life. We can do it. We can live! Together!"
She dropped the phone. It fell into a puddle formed by the rain. She was alone. In the dark. He family, dead, her boyfriend, dead. She broke down into tears and fell to the ground. She couldn't muster any strength to move, or even scream.

March 20th 11:41 AM
"Veronica, I love you." Veronica turned over and saw Joel standing over her. She wasn't able to move or think.
"Oh my love please don't cry, I'll wash my bloody hands and we'll start a new life."





*Thanks to Good Charlotte for their song My Bloody Valentine for my inspiration

Nothing Tastes As Sweet As What You Can't Have

Nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
Round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have.

These are some of the lyrics to Teddy Gieger's song For You I Will. I really believe there is an awful amount of truth from these words. In a play I'm currently in, Singing In The Rain, one of the lines between the main character, Don, and his closest friend, Cosmo, goes something like the following...(pay attention to the bold)

Cosmo: Three weeks are you are still thinking about her?
Don: Yeah she is on my mind
Cosmo: How could you not, she was the first girl to not fall for your lines since you were four...

Why does this have to be true? Why does our heart ALWAYS lead us to someone who will never like us, or at least don't at the moment. Why is it that those we always think about are those we can never have? Sometimes this can be very upsetting...

Let Go, Just Slip Away, Stay Down, In The Dark...

In The Dark

There she is! My heart sang as I watched her walk by. Her dark curly hair bouncing in time with her step, almost to a song no one could hear. She was the pride of the school. The hottest girl every to grace the hallways with her presence. Her almost bright green eyes and small nose, along with her hair, gave the utmost awe inspiring aura around her. It wasn't that she just had a great look, but something about her smile and presence made her unique. Almost like a higher standard of beauty. Every guy wanted to ask her that one question. Would you go out with me? Did any of us have the guts to do it? No, not even one. It was like every time someone tried to one glance from her would stun them. But I was going to ask. It was going to be me. I had it all planned out. I was just going to wait until after school when she was walking home, and walk with her. Along the way are some daisies. I would pick one and hand it to her and ask. Simple and sweet. Today was the day. The final bell rang. I could hear my heart pumping. I know I was nervous, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach. They went to climb up my throat and burst out. I followed her. When she was off school grounds I walked next to her. She didn't seem to notice me. I picked a daisy. I turned towards her. "Hello, umm, I was just, well I was wondering..." "You want to date me right?" She cut me off before I could finish. This racked my body with a feeling of anxiety and nervousness like I had never known. "Ummm, yeah..." I said my voice very quiet and weak. "Why don't you go home and forget about me, you aren't worth my time. You're a nobody, nothing, just go home and let go of me, just slip away into nothingness, stay down in that nothingness, and live in the dark, you aren't worth more then that." Her words were like a thousands sticks being broken point first against my body. Their splinters sticking in. Blood pouring out of the wounds, and my body unable to recover. I could feel tears start to stream down my face as I stared into her cold unfeeling eyes. "Oh gosh, don't start crying you baby! Just let go, slip away, stay down, and live in the dark..."

Happiness

What we are is what we do. So if we are happy we must be doing happy things. You can't expect to sit around all day and do nothing and be happy can you? If you are dumb then sure. Honestly, get up, get motivated, and do something today. It isn't that hard. And the reward for doing so will pay off in spades. Happiness is not a state, but rather a habit. You can't remain happy if you stop doing what got you there in the first place.

Personality Disorders

So I took this test to tell me how messed up I am. It is pretty close. Haha. You guys should take it




Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Low
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Low
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Low
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

URL of the test: http://www.4degreez.com/misc/personality_disorder_test.mv
URL for more info: http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/index.html

I Was Going To...

“I HATE YOU! I’m leaving.” I screamed towards my crying mother. I grabbed the keys to my car and walked out the garage door after slamming it hard. What is her problem? Can’t she just leave me alone? I’m not having sex, doing drugs, or drinking, so what does she care what I do on my time? My car is my freedom I use it to get away. Sometimes I just drive into the mountains and take a nap in the mountain air. I’ve never done anything “bad” but she won’t believe me. I just like to get away and have no one know where I’ve gone. I just want to disappear; from her, from the world, from everything. This time I was leaving for a while. I was pissed. I got in the car and jammed up the radio. I felt my hand twitch as I realized my words. I could hear the loud sob of my mother through the thin garage wall. When I cleared my head and got home I was going to apologize. I shouldn’t have said those things. But apologies are for another time; right now I’m just going to disappear. I backed out of the garage and drove down the street, with my arm out the window feeling the wind, turning left towards the mountains. As I came across an intersection I heard a loud twang and my body was suddenly sent into a convulsion it seemed like. The airbag deployed. I felt my arm snap as the front of the car met the middle. Squishing me like a doll. I felt metal hit my head. I could feel blood poor out. I knew I was dying. My vision began to fade. This isn’t fair, I was going to say sorry. I was going to be better. Instead the last my mom will know of me is “I hate you.” No! I could feel tears stream down my face. I thought of her crying as I left. I realized all she had done for me. But now, it was too late. I was going to be sorry, I was going to be better, I was going to…



*Thanks to Mymemory62005 for the inspiration*